A Letter to a Son: What it means to have a Dad
Yesterday, I was thinking about what I should discuss for this Friday's blog post. I have other planned topics to write about, but I had nothing that came to mind at the moment. It wasn't until I was searching for another item in my safe that I came across a letter from my dad. I have two letters from him, and I thought to myself, That's it! I will write about my dad. After all, Friday, October 16th is his birthday. He would be 89 years old today, born in 1937.
The letter I am sharing with you was written by my dad on September 26, 1994, while I was stationed on the Navajo Reservation in Arizona as a lieutenant junior grade (LTJG) in the United States Public Health Service. I graduated from college three years earlier with a bachelor's degree in civil engineering, and I was unable to go home as often as I would have liked. This was the last letter my dad ever sent me. He died ten years later at the age of 66, leaving behind my mom, ten children, and multiple grandchildren.
I share this letter with you to demonstrate how much my dad influenced my life. Although my dad and I did not always see eye to eye on various issues when I was a teenager, I recognize now that I am more like him than I once thought. I believe he would be proud of me for standing up for the truth, defending life, protecting our small family farmers and ranchers from big corporations, and living as a man of deep faith.
My father received only an eighth-grade education before he had to stay home and work on the farm because he was the oldest of five children. He treasured his faith and Catholic education and always took us kids to Mass on Sundays and holy days. He served as the spiritual leader of our household and led us in the rosary during Lent as we grew up on the farm. Later, when we became teenagers, each of us took turns leading the family rosary.
As a son, I cannot imagine all the responsibilities my dad took on when he married my mom at the age of 22. He raised ten children while also being there to support and cheer on his three brothers and sister and my grandma (his mom). He umpired our baseball games, took us to visit our grandparents, and taught all of us the value of hard work—something I appreciate even more today. He loved my mom very much and often said that the secret behind a successful marriage was having a good wife.
I share this story to remind readers that both a mother AND a father have important roles to play in raising a child. It also takes a community: grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, teachers, pastors, coaches, and mentors all help shape a child's life.
I recognize that not all children grow up in two-parent households, and I have been truly blessed to have been raised in a family that provided structure, stability, support, and love. Unfortunately, not every child has that level of support.
One thing I believe we must take seriously is the growing concern over children growing up without an involved father figure. As a substitute teacher and future educator, I have seen children who lack a father figure in their lives. The challenges these children face can be significant. The so-called school-to-prison pipeline is a serious concern, and family instability—including declining marriage rates, divorce, the loss of a parent, parents separating, and parents who are single by choice—can contribute to the difficulties some children experience.
According to a global survey of 130 countries conducted in 2019, the United States had the highest percentage of children living in single-parent households, at approximately 23%, more than three times the worldwide figure of 7%. In 2023, approximately 19 million children in the United States were reported to be living without a father in the household—roughly one in four children (1). The challenges associated with father absence can be especially significant in some of our reservation communities.
Today, we need fathers, foster and adoptive fathers, godfathers, spiritual fathers, and positive male role models to help raise and guide our children. Imagine what our country might look like if more fathers remained actively involved in their children's lives.
I understand that no dad is perfect. Certainly, my dad fell short on numerous occasions, but he did the best he could under the circumstances. He took his responsibilities seriously and remained committed to his family "until death do us part." There was no instruction manual for being the perfect father when he became a dad for the first time in 1961. He learned from his own parents, made mistakes, and steadily grew into his role through experience.
I challenge all men out there to stay the course and be the father that God has called you to be.
Tell your child, grandchild, or adopted child how much you love them. Write them a letter. You never know how deeply your words and actions may affect a child's life.
The letter I received from my father is one of the greatest gifts a son could receive. It reminds me that my dad loved me and helped shape me into the man I am today. Without him, I cannot say where my life might have led. What I do know is that my father was part of my journey, and I will be forever grateful that he was in my life.
Happy 89th Birthday, Dad!
Love,
Your son,
Anthony
Source:
(1) Chamie, J. (2025, January 13). America’s single-parent households and missing fathers. N-IUSSP. Retrieved on October 15, 2026, from https://www.niussp.org/family-and-households/americas-single-parent-households-and-missing-fathers/
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